Halloween Special
by Lily Lindir-Aubrey
Summary: A special story for this Halloween. The Joker goes trick-or-treating. Besides characters listed, Harley Quinn makes an appearance. Read, enjoy, and review! :)


**Halloween Special**

_A/N: OK guys, so this story is a very rushed, on-the-spot creation. I got the idea for it last night and had to write it this morning while at work. I really wanted it done for today, so it's a little short and very un-proofread. Having never done a DK fic before, this is a little different for me, so bear with me. I hope you all enjoy it! :D_

The Joker sat with his back against a cold, hard, bare wall of Arkham Asylum. His hands and feet were fettered by chains to the concrete floor. His purple custom-made suit and green-tinged hair were bedraggled and dirty, and his ever-grinning eyes had lost a bit of their usual maniacal gleam.

There was a creak. He lifted his head with an effort, and saw Harley Quinn standing in the doorway, holding the keys.

'Come on,' he said shortly, jerking her head in the direction of the exit. 'Let's get out of here.'

The Joker shifted his position and groaned. 'Do you wanna know... how I got these... scars?' he asked.

Harley looked at him for a moment, weighing the likelihood of someone coming before he finished his story. But she had a weakness for Joker's escapades. She sat down.

'Shoot,' she ordered.

It all happened last night before I was re-caught. Halloween, my favourite night of all the year. I spent months planning my escape, and even longer planning my costume.

My escape wasn't hard to perform; when the guard walked past the door I grabbed him through the bars and said m signature line. I had no trouble in convincing him to let me out.

Then for my costume. This was even easier. I had considered every character, historical and fictional, and quickly had come to the conclusion that the coolest person that had ever existed was me. Of course. So I wore my purple custom suit and crept out to get some candy.

I was approaching the first house on the block when there was a scream from within. All the lights went out. I knocked on the door, but no one answered. I tried to open it but it was locked.

'Trick or treat!' I yelled, throwing my knives at the door. There was another stifled scream from inside. I finally gave up.

'What's wrong with people these days?' I wondered. I went to the next house and knocked. This time the door was opened by a fat lady. 'Hello,' I said cheerily.

The woman screamed and slammed the door in my face without explanation. I heard the click of the lock.

'Nooo!' I yelled, banging on the door. 'I want some candy!' My pleas did not move the selfish, fat, stupid housewife, though, and I was forced to continue on my unsuccessful way.

The next house had lots of decorations. I was sure span style="text-decoration: underline;"they/span wouldn't refuse a poor trick-or-treater a few pieces of candy. I went to the door. I knocked.

The door was opened by an old-ish man with a mustache and glasses. 'What's this?' he said, frowning. 'That's a terrible thing to dress up as for Halloween!'

'No it's not!' I protested. 'It's the best costume since Mephistopheles. No, I take that back. It's even better than that.'

'Listen, sonny,' said the man, 'The Joker isn't a laughing matter.' I snickered. 'He's dangerous and he kills people. Now go home and change or you're not getting any candy from me.' He made to shut the door.

'Oh no you don't,' I sneered. 'Now you'll find out how violent a hungry dog really is.' I pulled my knife. I think the man realized at last who he was dealing with. He slammed the door and locked it tight.

'Pumpkin spice banana bread,' I cursed. 'Am I the only one with any holiday spirit in this town?' I tried to think of a particularly nasty and disturbing trick to play on the man.

Just then my attention was distracted by the appearance of Batman.

He looked a little shorter and a little thinner than I remembered him being. His outfit seemed to have deteriorated in quality as well. But all my doubts were dispelled when he spoke.

'I'm Batman,' he announced in a hoarse whisper.

I cackled. 'Hhhhhahahahaha! Batman! Are you here to stop me? Because that'll never work!'

'Hey, you're pretty good at this,' he said. He sounded impressed. Then he switched back to a hoarse whisper. 'You're not gonna get away with this, Joker.'

'Hit me,' I challenged. 'I want you to do it. Come on. Hit me!'

'Roahh,' Batman roared, flinging himself towards me. I shoved him. He fell flat on the pavement and his mask fell off.

'What the Gotham!?' I screamed. 'You're not Batman! I want to fight the emreal /emBatman!'

'Then you're gonna love me,' said a hoarse voice behind me. I swung around to face my arch enemy. And my mouth dropped open.

Batman was holding a very large Jack-o-lantern shaped bag. And it was bulging with candy. He grinned.

'Give me that!' I screamed, throwing myself after him.

Batman hit me. He hit me hard. Next thing I knew I was on the pavement, half unconscious.

'Why is it... that you only hit me... when I don't... want you to?' I groaned.

'Why do we fall, Joker?' he asked. That threw me.

'Huh?' I said. I thought for a moment. 'To get to the other side?'

'So we can learn to pick ourseeaaaaaahhh-' His sentence dissolved into a scream as I kicked him. I smirked, watching him fall towards the black waters of the river.

'Hands up! No funny moves!' said a voice behind me. It was the man in glasses, along with quite a few more policemen. 'Back to Arkham you go.'

'So here I am,' he concluded. 'And that's how I got these scars.' Harley smirked.

There were footsteps in the hall.

'We'd better go,' she said.

**The End**


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